It’s quite sunny outside, well it was until I turned round and looked out of the window whereupon a large black cloud covered the sky. Bit how my head feels really. Psyched myself up to get the prescription I have sitting in my drawer for the venlafaxine, with the idea of telling the pharmacist that I didn’t want or need the zopiclone dispensing at the same time. This would of course a) solve my problem of not having any venlafaxine, b) solve the problem of the zopiclone being on the same prescription as the venlafaxine and c) mean that I didn’t have to see the GP this week (for reasons in yesterday’s post).
Good intentions. But good intentions always go wrong don’t they? Walked outside, it was nice and sunny… then got convinced that someone was following me so decided to get on Tube and use Oyster card to go to get prescription dispensed somewhere random. Man follows me down into Tube station and uses same line as me (even though I dliberately choose an obscure one that hardly anyone uses). He gets into same carriage as me, sits on seat opposite to me. I really begin to (quite illogically) freak out here and get off 3 stops down the line at Barbican, whereupon I walk all the way back home.
I didn’t get my prescription. I got scared and panicky and came home and took too many co-codamol and tried to calm down. It worked, the tablets kicked in and I went to sleep, only just waking up now. I can’t cope – I don’t know why all my old fears and neuroses are coming out of the woodwork, but they are and I don’t like it.
Ruth
