Saw my psychiatrist today. He said he cares about me and is worried about me.
I asked him why, and he said because he has spent 3 months investing time, effort and energy into getting me well for discharge and looking after me as an outpatient. Apparently he is worried because of all the ‘plates I am juggling’ at the moment.
I said I didn’t think psychiatrists were meant to care about their patients. He said that was a myth and all psychiatrists care about the wellbeing of their patients. I, quite callously, asked that if I killed myself would it hurt him or would he just concentrate on the rest of his patients. He said he would care and reminded me of the incident in hospital where I used the TV aerial cable as an unsuccessful ligature and when I poured boiling water over both my arms on Christmas Day. He said that if he hadn’t cared then he wouldn’t have come in at 3am to speak to me about the ligature incident or on Christmas Day.
I think I may have just found a gem in the psychiatric world.
My meds have now changed again (for my record):
- Duloxetine 60mg/day
- Lamotrigine 400mg/day
- Aripiprazole 15mg/day
- Olanzapine 10mg/day
- Trazodone 300mg/day
- Diazepam 5mg/prn
Plus there’s all the other meds I am on for pain control and to attempt to stop the cancer spreading anymore.
Ruth
