I am no longer on olanzapine, I was eating far too much and gaining too much weight. I mentioned this to my psych and he changed me to quetiapine, which is less weight gaining, apparently.
However, I am suffering from a severe hangover effect and daytime sleepiness because of it and have no idea how I am meant to function on it given that I can barely stay awake. I see him tomorrow so can mention it then.
Rang the crisis team as arranged last night and they had no clue of Friday’s events meaning that I had to go through it all again and still they didn’t quite grasp it. Allison clearly hadn’t put it onto the system. However, the woman was perfectly pleasant even if all she suggested was to take a diazepam to calm down and keep myself in the company of people. It worked though as I still, despite all the urges, self-harmed.
I see my psych tomorrow, as an emergency appointment after Friday. I’m quite scared about seeing him as I feel embarrassed about the whole thing now and feel as if it was a waste of everyone’s time. I also see my GP but I saw him whilst I was still in a state on Friday evening so am less worried about that.
The rational part of me knows I did the right thing by heading to A&E but then the emotional part of me feels stupid and an attention seeker and a waste of time.
Sometimes I just have no clue what to think.
Ruth
March 29, 2009 at 8:57 pm
You’re not a waste of time
March 30, 2009 at 10:05 am
You’re definitely not a waste of time, and you did do the right thing. And, from what I’ve heard about quetiapine, the drowsiness should ease off after a while.
March 31, 2009 at 3:41 pm
I wish there was a drug to take away the urge to be embarrassed. It’s so much better to roll up at the Priory or A&E or call someone because you *want* to hurt yourself so that they can help you *not* hurt yourself, than it is to wait until you’ve inflicted physical damage because you’re too embarrassed to go with nothing but an urge. This is all part of teh title of your blog, to me. Going to those places and calling those people are weapons in your arsenal of urge fighting. Otherwise you’re just getting patched up again instead of relearning how to deal with stress, panic, depression, mania and other potential triggers.
Go ahead and blush for a few minutes. I’m pretty sure the professionals would prefer it. So will you once you unkink the neural and spiritual path that goes straight from “might be awkward” to “better cut myself, then”.
April 9, 2009 at 11:29 am
The Seroquel zombieism does ease off. I am totally useless in the morning because of it. Just make sure you get enough sleep. x