I am finally back at home after pleading with Dr Mc that I was safe to be discharged today and didn’t need to be kept in over the weekend. I was going to be discharged earlier this week but after an overnight leave, and ignoring everyone’s advice about not driving whilst in this state, I drove my car and crashed it. Luckily I didn’t cause anyone or anything else any damage, as apparently my insurance is invalidated as I am driving whilst having a medical condition (mania) that I have not informed the DVLA about. If I do inform the DVLA, then my licence will be revoked and not reissued for eithe r3 or 6 months, depending on when I am stable, and then it will probably be assessed annually. Luckily no one has informed the DVLA, and as my car isn’t exactly in a good state at the moment, I won’t be driving for a while.
The valproate has been increased again, but although it has taken the top edge off my mood it hasn’t capped it like everyone had hoped it would. My thoughts are now racing around my head at about 200mph rather than 500mph, I can sit in a chair and only move my feet and hands, rather than jiggling my whole body around. It is little differences like that which have enabled me to be discharged though, so I guess I should be grateful.
This post isn’t going to make any sense, I can’t keep my thought process on writing it for long enough. I guess the basics are that I’m home, I’m now classed as hypomanic, I crashed my car, I self-harmed and ended up in A&E again on Saturday, I have made myself turn over a new leaf and be accepting and welcoming of the help the Priory are giving me as I do not know how much longer my parents can fund it, I see Allison on Monday and Dr Mc again on Tuesday and I only have to keep myself on the straight and narrow for the next couple of days.
Ruth
