I can bearly drag myself out of bed these days, let alone apply the killer eyeliner that I never used to go out without. I am glad I am taking my Mum along to the meeting with all the CMHT team and my GP, I need someone to take my viewpoint and put my side across in a clear and coherent manner, something I am not capable of doing at the moment.
I rang the Samaritans earlier. Mainly because I had been self-harming all morning and wanted to take all the tablets I had and sleep, and sleep, and sleep. Maybe not forever, but at least for a while and that scared me. I’m not good at talking and especially not to strangers but in the absence of any formal support then the Samaritans were great, after all, I’m still here and still awake.