I am so hungover. It hit me in a wave at about 9pm. Didn’t help that I continued drinking ’till about 5am, went back to Rich’s, sent the parents a text letting them know I wouldn’t be back (to which they weren’t too pleased at receiving at 5am), got up at about 10am and went out for some breakfast. Then went home at about midday, just in time for the whole family, get together lunch thing, drank a lot more wine, got drunk (well more drunk as I hadn’t yet sobered up), played a very pissed game of Monopoly (which I won, massively – bankrupted everyone, still think I was unconsciously cheating somehow), felt sick, lay down on my bed at about 6pm and woke up at 9pm with the alcohol wearing off.
Now the bastard hangover is kicking in and I’m wide awake. Haven’t made an New Year’s Resolutions but I joked with a friend that mine might be drink less and smoke less, which reminds me of the scene in Bridget Jones where she’s talking to Colin Firth and says her NYRs are to “drink less and stop smoking (whilst doing both), oh and stop making New Year’s Resolutions!”. Know how she feels. Took a zopiclone which I found lurking in a drawer about half an hour ago to try and get some sleep (I know, I know, not good with alcohol) but I don’t know if it was out of date or one of the dodgy Spanish ones I bought online because it seems to be doing bugger all!
I had a rather stroppy email from someone yesterday about my last post, saying that if I was going to post my thoughts in so much detail online, would I please put a trigger warning up, or put it under a link? The short answer is… no! I won’t. This is my blog, my space for my thoughts and I won’t censor them. I spend too much of my life censoring what I say and do to appease people, I ain’t going to start doing it now. However, I will try and make the post titles better so you get the gist of things. Although, thinking about it, why the hell should I even do that? If you don’t like it, don’t read it… actually please do read ’cause I get very miffed when my stats drop (although they’re not great to start with) and begin to get paranoid.
Going to try and get an appointment with my GP tomorrow to talk things through. I need her to write a referral letter to an orthopaedic doctor as I fell over on my ankle (the one I broke and had to be pinned back together) in the early hours of this morning from the dizzying heights of my Primark’s best pseudo-tarty 3 inch heels (when a girl’s only 5ft 4 she needs all the help she can get!) and I think it’s a bit buggered. I don’ know if a pin has slipped or something but I now have a lump on the inside of my foot, about 2cm below (in a direction sloping down towards my toes) my malleolus (spelling?) on the medial side, somewhere around the navicular bone I think (well actually I don’t think, my lovely medic boyfriend thinks so, but I don’t entirely trust him as he’s only an F1 and doesn’t know a lot of feet/ankles (his words not mine) as he “fell asleep in those lectures and hated the practical ward based orthopaedic stuff). It’s hard and definitely isn’ a cyst or a ganglion or fluid filled and it also hurts like hell. A dull ache when I sit and sharp pain when I try and move it. In my stupidity last night I tried to bash it back into place (I love alcohol, it decreases all aspect of rational thinking) so it probably looks worse than it is because it’s swollen and bruised from my actions. Clever!
I also need to talk to her about current issues, i.e. the whole of Sunday. I don’t know if I’ll manage to tell her it all, or if I’ll in and just say “things aren’t good”, which to be fair is a little bit of an understatement. However, I equallying don’t want to say, “oh well, things area bit crap, thought about cutting myself and jumping under a tube train on Sunday, New Year’s Eve was OK but only because I was totally sozzled and hurt my ankle and today’s not been great but due to copious amouts of alcohol and nicotine in my bloodstream is hasn’t seemed too bad”. Hmmmm…. not think that will cut it either. I’ll just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves last night (the London fireworks were lush, but the 659,999 other people around me (just an approximate guess you realise) weren’t so much fun.
Here’s to a bright, new, hopefully more fulfilling 2008. And let’s wait and see what it holds because to be sure (to quote my slightly strange Dublin great-aunt) it’ll throw shit and you, just depends if you want to come up smelling or shit or roses. I feel she has a very valid point to take onboard.