It’s been a day of lidocaine

Saw a senior nurse at the self-harm team this morning. She was lovely, really listened and I told her everything. This in itself is quite unusual for me as I don’t usually tell anyone everything, let alone on the first meeting. She asked about my diagnoses – Borderline Personality Disorder, Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Trichotillomania, Dermatotillomania and Self-Harm. She said given my history (which I haven’t explained all of on here) that none of it was a surprise.

She doesn’t think she can offer much intervention, but she has given me the team’s number and apparently I can contact her for a chat or advice at any time. She is ringing the CMHT to see what is going on with the psych support I am getting there and is drafting a letter to send to my CPN. It all sounds quite optimistic really. She thinks at some point in the future I would benefit from long-term therapy but realises that I’m not in the right frame of mind at present. She’s also given me the number for the mental health adviser at uni and thinks that uni counselling is a good idea.

She also twigged that I cut myself recently. 4am this morning to be precise after taking one and half zopiclone and two zolpidem and still being wide awake from half midnight to half four this morning. It was quite bad as well and she suggested I went to A&E, I obviously didn’t look too happy about the idea so she came with me. 9 stitches in one of the cuts and 7 in the other bad one and steri-strips on the third. It was quite sweet as I was seen by a trainee nurse practitioner who went off to get a colleague as she “couldn’t suture” and so a fully qualified nurse practitioner came in and sutured the worst one and then offered to let her suture the other one (she had been on a course but never sutured a person). I agreed and so she did her first ever suturing on me – and it’s dead neat!

The biopsy was bloody painful. More local anaesthetic and a large needle straight into my bone. However, they did give me some nice sedative drugs and kept me in for a couple of hours to sleep them off afterwards. I should get the results by the end of the week. Quite scared about it but trying to stay optimistic.



4 Responses to “It’s been a day of lidocaine”

  1. Alison Says:

    Fingers crossed for the biopsy Ruth….

  2. exactscience Says:

    Isn’t it novocaine for the soul?

    Take care Ruthie.

  3. Rollercoaster Says:

    Well done for getting through all that.
    Hope the biopsy results are quickly returned and give you the “right” news.

  4. +PHc Says:

    Glad you could talk freely, and sounds like you were teated well. I’m in a lot of clinical trials for AIDS, and go to a research mental health clinic and I like the relationship of letting people learn off me, like it sounds like you might have felt with the suturing.

    “You aren’t in the right frame of mind” for long term therapy because you don’t want it right now? -or they don’t think it would be helpful for some other reason?

    If it’s a bad match for me (therapy), it makes things much worse, but I finally have a good match and it really helps. I self-harm less (which didn’t feel like was about anger), but since it’s gotten better I have a lot more external anger management problems than maybe ever before. But this therapist is helpful with dealing with that.

    Luck with the biopsy results.

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