The post on self-harm is still being created, and I keep meaning to tidy my blog up and rearrange my links section. Trouble is I am just so damn tired. I’m currently on venlafaxine and mirtazapine and together they are totally knocking me for six. If it were up to me I could just sleep for England (and Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland).
It’s so ironic that when my mood actually starts to pick up that because of the drugs that are helping my mood to pick up I have bugger all energy and therefore cannot make the most of my elevated mood. I tried to put this across to the Crisis Team yesterday and today but they just patronisied me and told me that side effects will pass and surely my mood being better is worth it. I told them it would be worth it, if I were awake enough to appreciate it. Luckily though I don’t seem to be eating anymore or gaining weight on the mirtazapine, which was my greatest fear.
I meet with Gavin, my new CMHN, tomorrow and I’m freaking out about it already. I can’t decide what to wear (as we all know clothing and attire is such an important part of an assessment) – too outlandish and I’ll be labelled ‘manic’, too much black and I’ll be an ’emo depressive’. I think I’ll settle for jeans, a white t-shirt and my favourite black cardi. Or maybe not, I can’t decide.
In the meantime though the bread I tried making with my Mum earlier apparently hasn’t worked so it looks like it might have to be turned into a bread and butter pudding, or fed to the extremely brazen Kensington foxes.