No Room At The Inn: How The Psych Bed Crisis Is Ironic At This Time Of Year

I saw Allison on Tuesday and told her how I had spent all of Saturday  in bed practising tying knots to hang myself with. On Sunday I tried to hang myself but a combination of my hideous attempt at knot tying, the fact that I only had partial suspension and that meant the drop/weight wasn’t enough meant that I just ended up with a killer headache and tinnitis. She seemed genuinely concerned. She seemed even more concerned when I broke down into tears and stated that I just couldn’t cope anymore. However, despite her ringing the bed manager at the mental health unit and pleading for a bed, even for a few days respite, there are no beds.

I went home and continued in the way I have been living recently. Get up, get dressed, forget to brush teeth, don’t do much, lie in bed, go out of house, get panicky, come back, take diazepam, feel chilled out, go to bed, spend entire night awake.

Yesterday I saw my GP about the pain/tingling/numbness in my hand. I have definite neuropathy of the ulnar nerve and some motor dysfunction in my little finger, meaning it is weaker than the rest and I cannot bend it properly. I have been referred baclk to the orthopaedic consultant who did the operation as an urgent referral so he can assess what is going on with it and whether it will heal fully or need more intervention.

I saw Allison again this morning who seemed worried about my state of mind and the fact I am severely sleep deprived. She spoke with my Mum, who drove me to the appointment and explained that ever since the end of November when I first tried to kill myself she has wanted me admitting but the NHS doesn’t have the resources and beds at present. My Mum rang my Dad and my Dad took the view that he always takes which is “we’ll pay for it”. So I am now sitting in a private psych unit which is very lovely with a planned admission until Wednesday with the promise that I will not lose my NHS support (i.e. the psychiatrist and Allison) just by having a private admission. In fact Allison admitted that given the current bed crisis, it was probably the only way forwards.

I get some zopiclone tonight so hopefully the sleep deprivation will be resolved. At present I am calming down from all the admission stuff; masses of paperwork to sign, assessment by the psychiatrist, medical assessment by the resident medical officer, meeting my named nurse and the other patients etc etc etc.

I think I may go and ask for the zopiclone now and have an early night. It feels like it has been an exceptionally long day.



20 Responses to “No Room At The Inn: How The Psych Bed Crisis Is Ironic At This Time Of Year”

  1. intothesystem Says:

    Good luck at The Priory (jumping to conclusions here, but I would expect so!)

    I hope it helps. Some respite will be worth it. I wish I could go back in 😦 :S

    Take care xxx

  2. Tilda Says:

    Hi Ruth,

    Have randomly stumbled across your blog, and I guess the title got me reading.. I read the about me first, which was scary in the sense that I feel like I relate a bit too much. Now I have read this post this line “I went home and continued in the way I have been living recently. Get up, get dressed, forget to brush teeth, don’t do much, lie in bed, go out of house, get panicky, come back, take diazepam, feel chilled out, go to bed, spend entire night awake.” is seriously my life right now!!!
    What’s it like living with your parents? I have flatmates who think i am nuts because I am not open and social with them, obviously I cant tell them things, so they hate me whilst i keep driving myself nuts trying to find new places etc cos im scared of what will happen if i live alone.

    I hope you feel better, and you are able to go away. Have you tried capio?


  3. Disillusioned Says:

    Glad some support has been found for you at this horrendously difficult time. Be safe; rest and be looked after for a while.

  4. Lola Snow Says:

    Brilliant news Ruth. I hope you get some well needed sleep.

    Lola x

  5. Alison Says:

    Glad to hear Ruth you are getting help… if I had the funds I wouldn’t hesitate to go private as the NHS just sucks for mental health care… take care of yourself x

  6. Lauren Says:

    Hi Ruth,

    I heard this great poem on the radio and when I went to check it out, I found another one which resonated with me and made me think of you.

    Hope it makes you smile and if not, at least make you chuckle at the irony.

    You are doing great. Keep safe,


    State of Emergency by Kate Fox

    Dear ambulance service-user,

    Thank you for calling 999,
    here’s a recorded message while you’re waiting on the line.

    Sorry you’re not feeling great,
    would you like us to deliver;

    A baby
    A pizza
    A target-hitting health outreach service fit for a modern Western state?

    Just checking.

    Your siren tune can now be pre ordered and personalised.
    Positive choices like “I will Survive”, “Help” or “Staying Alive” are advised.

    We regret that due to numerous examples of misuse
    we cannot assist with the following issues;

    You’ve ruptured your hair extension,
    need advice on your loft extension,
    had a bad reaction to Jeremy Beadle’s death,
    or non-localised sexual tension.
    Your usual taxi’s too slow or the pine air freshener makes you gag,
    your teenage son’s chucked up after his first Margherita,
    you can’t open a plastic bag.
    They said you’d better go to rehab, you said no, no, no
    But you can’t stagger to the offie any more and want an ambulance to go, go,go.

    Nonetheless we hope your problem will soon be gone
    and suggest you alternatively contact;

    Your own higher brain functions,
    One of those helpful TV programmes that tell you how to live your life
    Or, for celebrity addicts, Elton John.

    Things down here are reaching a state of emergency
    but please stay on the line
    our operators are all currently busy
    phoning 999.

  7. Mental Patient Says:

    It’s good to hear that you are getting proper care. Happy Christmas. I hope the New Year is better for you.

  8. Lola Snow Says:

    Hey Ruth, just a quick comment to let you know that I’m thinking of you, and hope you are feeling a little better.

    Lola x

  9. L Says:

    Happy New Year Ruth, I hope this year is a better one for you.


  10. Mark Houston Recovery Says:

    Hey Ruth-

    I’m glad to hear that you are getting help. I hope 2009 brings you a year of good things 🙂

  11. intothesystem Says:

    Hey Ruth,

    You’ve been quiet of late. I hope you are okay honey. Take care xx

  12. Alison Says:

    Ruth, I keep checking and hope you are okay x

  13. colouredmind Says:

    Hi Ruth, I am glad youve got some extra support. Just wondering how you are and if you are still in hospital. Love Hannah X

  14. Disillusioned Says:

    Long time no post from you. Hope you are OK. Do let us now how you are doing if you have the chance. be kind to yourself.

  15. L Says:

    I hope wherever you are, you are happy and healthy.


    Keep holding on.

  16. Jessica Says:


    I hope you are ok. Haven’t heard anything lately, please let us know if you are ok.

    Take care.


  17. Ruth Says:

    I’m fine.
    Still in hospital, don’t know when I’ll be home. Have no access to internet except by phone so apologies for lack of posts. As soon as I am discharged I will be posting again.
    I thank you all for your kindness and concern though. It means an awful lot to me.
    Ruth x

  18. intothesystem Says:

    Good to hear from you. I think hospital is probably still the best place for you to be and I am glad you are getting further support. I hope you are on the mend and will be safe and home soon.

    Take care xx

  19. Disillusioned Says:

    Great to read your post. Glad you are getting support. Be gentle with yourself.

  20. Hannah Says:

    Hi Ruth
    Glad you’re doing ok. Hope you get home soon, take care

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