Mentally Numbed: Being Sedated Whilst An Inpatient Kept Me Safe

So where was I?

Ah yes, after lots and lots of lorazepam on the Monday afternoon/evening/night the duty medical doctor decided to delete it from my drug chart as the drug of choice for calming me down when needed. Instead he added hydroxyzine which is a sedating antihistamine. The next time the nurse offered me some PRN meds, I think I was opening the window and trying to squeeze out through it, this was the drug I got. I was offered what dose I would like but was told that I could only have a maximum of 75mg in a day and the tablets were 25mg, so I opted for 25mg and settled down to think I would be vaguely relaxed and a little chilled out. Instead of which I slept most of the day. I remember my mum coming to visit me but apparently she left because I looked so dozy, I don’t recall her leaving, but the rest of the day is a blur.

My consultant came to visit me on Tuesday afternoon and in my dozy state I agreed to start taking olanzapine again at night to try and combat the night wandering and nightmares but also to switch off all the noise that was in my head. This inevitably meant that I slept beautifully on Tuesday night, and through much of Wednesday and only started to wake up on Wednesday when it was time for my night meds again.

I don’t think they deliberately tried to sedate me from Tuesday through to Thursday afternoon when I was discharged but I believe it did make their lives easier as I was hell bent on self destruction and by the simple fact that I was asleep most of the time, it reduced my risk of doing anything. As I was discharged on the Thursay I noticed I had finally been marked down to hourly observations and deemed a low risk, which pleased me as I had never been such a low risk before, and yet I was sad because I knew in my heart that it was only because of sedating meds.

Immediately after being discharged I saw my CPN who did her own risk assessments which deemed me to be at high risk of suicide and self harm and low risk of violence and neglect. Then on the Friday I had a joint appointment with my CPN and a guy from the Crisis Team to assess whether I could be taken onto the CRHT (Crisis Resolution Home Treatment Team) caseload or whether I was sane enough to cope on my own. Their joint opinion was for CRHT to have input and so far I have been working with the team for just over a week. I have a care plan review on Thursday, which I presume they will cease contact with me afterwards but for once they have actually been helpful and supportive. I’ll write more about them in another post.



7 Responses to “Mentally Numbed: Being Sedated Whilst An Inpatient Kept Me Safe”

  1. Chouette Says:

    Hold on… the crisis team… helpful?

    • Ruth Says:

      Actually for once they have been. They have been meeting with me a few times a week, daily at weekends and ringing me when promised. I’m not sure of their purpose, except to ensure I am alive and that the trust cannot be sued for negligence, but I cannot fault them.
      I have a CPA review on Thursday which is when I suspect they will discharge me from their services back to the CMHT and my CPN. My CPN is quite good as well, and has bucked her ideas up ever since I was admitted, but she isn’t there at 3am when I’m having a flashback or a nightmare like the Crisis Team are.

      • intothesystem Says:

        I agree with Chou, but really glad they have been supportive and done their job for once. They always just discharge me as fast as possible. Last time I was officially referred to them, they didn’t even come and visit. I was just told to call if I needed to talk and as I’m terrified of the phone I never bothered.

  2. kevin blumer Says:

    well ive been a inpaintent twice and i hated it and could not get out because of the mental health act probably good at the time because it did save me cause i was going to do something daft or silly they gave me my mirtazapine which just knocks me out

    • Ruth Says:

      The delights of the Mental Health Act, I’ve been there a few too many times and I have to admit that although at the time I wanted out, the best place for me to be was as an inpatient.
      I also have been on mirtazapine. Once when I was 18 and I stopped taking it cause I ODed on it and it didn’t agree with me. The second time was a couple of years ago when I was an inpatient and after a few nights I had it discontinued as I just couldn’t cope with the sedation.

  3. Ms Leftie Says:

    Good to see a CT doing something, stay safe Ruth x

  4. Gledwood Says:

    This is the problem with benzodiazepines: they’re addicted. And having heard from people who are/were addicted to them and th eproblems they had coming off I’d say it’s territory you really do not want to risk skirting into. Bigtime. If you are going to take a benzo you might find Diazepam/Valium 10mg better than lorazepam, it does at least hit the spot properly.

    CPNs etc are a mystery to me. I’ve had problems for years that are only now being addressed I have a heavy-duty diagnosis I frankly don’t want, the only good thing is I do finally get listened to instead of treated like a neurotic whinger. I suppose now I’m seen as a psychotic whinger. Which is worse?!

    All the best for the future. I came across you by accident by hopping blogrolls.

    Regards from London Town

    from Gledwood šŸ™‚

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