We All Need To Learn: How Student Nurses Can Affect Appointments

I met Emma, my new CPN, on Wednesday and she had a student nurse with her. I am very tolerant of students and agreed for the student to sit in on the appointment, even though it was the first time I had met Emma and thus an introductory meeting. I was soon wishing I hadn’t allowed her to sit in.

I have a theory that everyone learns something from someone else and the only way a student nurse will learn what to do is by accompanying a qualified nurse on his or her day schedule. Unfortunately this theory didn’t work too well as I was so nervous and on edge by having the student in the room that I barely managed to say anything other than mono-syllabic answers to Emma in the 45 minutes that we had (cut short to make way for the student’s assignment presentation).

I didn’t get chance to mention the list and all the things I wanted to talk about. In fact we didn’t seem to talk about a lot, the appointment was mainly me explaining breathing exercises and body scans/mindfulness to the student with Emma listening to my answers.

Then I left, with another appointment in 3 weeks time, with the opportunity to phone if I need her help. I am beginning to realise how fantastic the private sector and the Priory was, with frequent appointments, no students and guaranteed alloted times.

Now I feel very alone until I see my GP in about 10 days time. I feel isolated and ignored and worst of all horribly depressed. I know I can get through this time without support, it’s just a lot can happen in 10 days, especially in my life.

Ruth

Mad As A Hatter: Meeting My New Psychiatrist

I finally got to meet the team psychiatrist today, or one of them as I didn’t get to see the consultant. Instead I saw his lovely, but slightly (dare I say it) nutty registrar. Nutty in a good way though, in that kind of quirky way which some people can carry off and I am far too scared to even try.

We spent half an hour talking about everything really as this is the first time I’ve seen a psychiatrist from this CMHT. She asked how I got on in the Priory and so I honestly told her that without them I would be dead and definitely not a far forwards as I am today (not that I feel further forward but I have learned it is a good thing to say in psych appointments). She asked what meds Dr Mc had put me on and then gasped at the long list, wrote them down and said she would review it with the consultant as she doesn’t think I need to be on all of them.

I am terrified that they will get hold of me and change all the good work that Dr Mc has done. I take a lot of tablets; an antidepressant (venlafaxine), two mood stabilisers (lithium and valproate), an anti-psychotic (haloperidol), an anticholinergic to counteract the haloperidol (procyclidine) and a sleeper (zopiclone), plus diazepam PRN. They seem to be working though, despite my pig awful mood over the last few days and the urge to self-harm, I haven’t actually done anything to myself, which I am proud of. I am scared that they’ll put me on tablets which cause massive weight gain because they don’t understand how much of an issue my weight is, or they’ll take the zopiclone away without realising I have nightmares without a sleeper to help.

I tried to talk through my issues but we didn’t have enough time and she asked too many random questions. It honestly felt as if she was assessing me for admission with the mental state exam style questions. I think I might type them out and hand them to my new CPN to share with the team as they’re are too many to talk through in half an hour. I don’t know how much my GP or Dr Mc has disclosed in their letters to the CMHT but the registrar seemed to be entering into the appointment with me a bit blind, but f course that could have been a ploy to see how much I would divulge,

I briefly met Emma, my new CPN, whilst waiting for the appointment and she seems perfectly pleasant, she says she will contact me about an appointment. I’m not sure I wholly believed her when she said that I was on her priority list. I am being so cynical and paranoid at the moment and with it comes bitchiness, which is never nice.

Ruth